It’s That Time of Year
- Posted by admin
- On February 23, 2019
- 0 Comments
Hello all.
This is the time of year that I most love, and most dread. This is when I start getting the excited “I GOT IN!” texts, or the phone calls sobbing with “I didn’t get in.”
Yes, it’s college acceptance time. Or for some, rejection time. It’s the time of year when I hold my breath, waiting to see what will happen; hoping for the best for each of my students. These are students I have grown to know very well, and I am invested in their successes. By this time in the process, I have known some as long as three years or more, some as short as a few months. But I have come to know them all quite well. We’ve worked on deeply personal essays, talked about their hopes and dreams for colleges, and decided which paths they should consider. They’ve sat in my house, hung out with my dog, and babysat my kids. We’ve developed relationships I truly cherish.
So, yeah. This time of year is important. And how I handle their acceptances and rejections matters.
Here in Florida it’s interesting. Moving here from Massachusetts was eye opening. I was not used to the deeply entrenched culture of institutional loyalty that exists here. Here, you are a “Gator,” a “Seminole” or a “Cane.” And you often know this from the moment you are born from the first onesie your parents give you. While I love the spirit and the fierce support for teams (hello, I’m from Boston!), this can create a tough situation for the college application process. Students who literally cannot imagine going anywhere often have to face a tough reality. Florida has done an incredible job reducing the “brain drain” and has enticed many students to remain here in Florida for college by keeping tuition down, and offering other scholarship programs such as Bright Futures and the Florida pre-paid option. This has, however, greatly increased the competition for admission. Getting into UF, FSU, or UCF can be more difficult than an out of state more elite institution. This year UF had 41,000 applications for 6500 spots. But, for many students I work with, they just cannot fathom going anywhere else. And if it’s not a Florida school, it’s another school they’ve had their heart set on for any number of reasons.
While I can usually get them to a good list of 5-8 possible places, they often have their heart set on one school. If they get in, it’s awesome. Congrats emojis all over the place. We are all thrilled. They are happy, their parents sigh with relief, and I am honored to have been on the journey. But when they don’t get in, it’s a much harder conversation.
Often they want to know why. What did they do wrong? They start hearing from their friends who got in, comparing scores, GPAs, and resumes, and they can’t find the answers they so desperately seek. Often there is no obvious answer. Trying to figure out why one student got in versus another is an exercise in futility. That I know with certainty. When families first hire me I tell them, “I cannot guarantee your acceptance into any particular school.” If I could do that, I’d be a millionaire, on all the talk shows. What I tell them, however, is I want them to be proud of their applications. To have no regrets about what they’ve submitted to these institutions. To know that they put themselves out there as honestly and genuinely as possible. To do their best, be realistic, and meet the deadlines. And to submit with no typos. Because that’s all they can control. The rest is out of their hands.
Then, if they don’t get in, we try to move one. I had a student the other day receive a rejection from the University of Florida. She was devastated. I’ll be honest, I was surprised too, given her application. I told her it was OK to cry, to feel sad, to mourn. But that this was not her path. That she would end up where she needed to be. I told her that she might not know this now, but next year, she would be in college, hopefully having an amazing year and she would call me telling me she couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. My best advice right now, if you have students getting rejections, is letting them know it will all be OK. They need to know this. They see everything they’ve worked for falling away from them. Let them hurt. Let them feel the feels. And tell them it will all be OK. And you will be there for them, no matter what.
0 Comments